There are some people in the world who think that Monaco is a place for people with lots of money, but very little class. Somerset Maugham, a man who preferred Saint Jean Cap Ferrat, famously described Monaco as “a sunny place for shady people”.
Money can buy you many things, but it cannot buy class and the jingle-jangle of new money can be heard often around the harbour of the mythical Principality. The ultimate purchase for the kind of people who buy Flavio Briatore’s Billionaire fashion items is the leopard-skin speedboat… Just the thing to use to pick up the tartelettes of St Tropez.
I am just surprised that it is not moored with gold chains…
Ye gods, but that’s truly horrible.
Will match the speedos & g-strings, I’m sure. Oligarchs?
Isnt that the tender for “Pussy Galore”?
Crass.
Nuff said.
Its certainly not a Riva is it !
I am sure the salesman didn’t try very hard to persuade the owner that maybe a more neutral colour scheme might work better…..the customers cash is always right !
Joe, I wonder if Toyota will give you a similar paint job on your Prius ?
Talking of money and boats, didn’t Keke Rosberg try to get his boat named “Wet Dream” but the authorities wouldn’t let him ?
Mind your step when you cross the start finish line after the session, I hear there is a bit of a puddle !
Now that boat would be beautifull if only it was covered in real leopard skin!
Or rather not.
Well that’s a Red Ensign on the back but I wouldn’t think it’s a ship of the British Mechant Navy.
It looks like it’s got a complication that may show it to be from the Isle of Man.
Does Nigle Mansell still live in the Isle of Man?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Civil_Ensign_of_the_Isle_of_Man.svg
Um, let’s see, what won’t that clash with?
Very poor taste.
Rich T,
I am sure the owner would think it would go well with some tartan…
Crass.
Surely it’d be a bit embarrassing being on that boat. You own it, so you’ve demonstrated that you have the cash and also that despite that business acumen (or good fortune) that you have no class. Oh dear. #fail
I think you should look into getting a voting widget on this site. Plenty to choose from in the WordPress world (and you don’t need to have a WordPress specific one).
Ghastly, and of course, probably very expensive.
Reminds me of the lavatory (with the lapis lazuli straining handles) described by Spike Milligan!
Ouch, that’s vile.
Yes Joe – this is Ra! Saw that one moored last October when we cruised through – more cash than anyone knows what to do with – though you could probably think of a few things, or cars – got any further with a new Prius yet? Delighted to see the car getting some attention at last
Loved the journey blog and think the idea of travel writer is well worth pursuing.
…and the boat leather care product can be used to perform the same function on the boater’s tanned skin.
Hey, Joe, thanks for the laugh, needed that bad this morn!
I mean, if you’re going to do tasteless, that’s doing it on the real cheap. Or is it some perverse reference to having a cougar in the car? Nah, that’d be way too clever. Bet it’s not even real fur . .
This is much more my style of gory:
http://adrienjousset.wordpress.com/2009/10/27/guilty-yacht-by-jeff-koons/
there are some better pics out there, was about the first hit on the search, but for the take on dazzle camo, Jeff Koons wins.
Oddly, this makes me rather miss Flav . . .
okay, off to bang my head against the wall, after thinking that …:)
– j
If I were that rich, I would like to think I too could retain my sense of humour…..
OzCarl,
you made me think of Tom Jones’ piece in Malcolm McLaren’s “Ghost of Oxford Street”. It’s on the on demand thing on C4. That’s the thing with McLaren, his game was sendup, it’s bloody good fun.
Joe, you gotta stake that launch out, we want to see half-Trump hairspray comb-overs having a wild moment, backdrop bimbettes!
not going to start on the film references, but did this guy get the Curtis mickey take all wrong, and think that was the way forward?
thanks guys for cementing a big smile on my otherwise dour mug!!
– john
Lol, for some reason it reminds me of a song that goes ‘I’m a pit bull, pit bull…. terrier, terrier’ from the classic Black Cat White Cat flick.
I like it. People take decoration sooooooo seriously. But then again, I wear leather dacks with the butt cut out. So comfy in the summer heat.
Is this perhaps an effort of the owner that he is always on the lookout for wet versions the cat species?
Oh comrades, come rally…!
Sailed it here all the way from Essex!
You can buy alot of things, taste is not one.
Could he at least not sail it under the red ensign?
that’s utterly awful!
The only thing that could possibly make that more crass would be the drainage hole position
hilarious!
Sadly the flag on the stern looks like the Red Ensign (Brish based). Could the UK be producing its own “upper crass”?
You have to come here and things like that will not surprise you anymore…
tut tut Joe it’s very rude to sneer at people unfortunate enough to have been born with out any taste cells in their body, these people need help, they don’t need to be mocked!! (it is hideous though)
TimW,
The best treatment in this matter is pain. If they think that the world is laughing at them, they then learn about taste.
Is that how you pick up the Tartlettes, I’ve been going about it the completely wrong way!
Alec, Miami,
got an advance party of Yorkshirefolk in Sarasota. Best culture clash ever, i think they went there so they’d never lack of entertainment
Damned fine place, by the way. Let it hang out. But in Monaco? Oh, well . .
cheers!
– j
Joe (Saward)
Scottish Racing Tartan?
heck, they’d let him through on a hot lap, brandishing that livery!
getting silly, even for me,
– j
Does it come with same pattern wall paper, silk bed linen and undergarments? Did you have to ask the bikini-clad ladies to move over for you to take the picture, or was it too early in the morning?
That’s a red ensign, mind you, she’s British registered… And certainly too small for any self-respecting oligarch.
“[T]artelettes”, I love it.
That’s excellently hilarious.
I desperately hope it’s a joke…
Most yachts are just yuckhts anyway, irrespective of their varied surface finishes. I hear shipyards are enjoying brisk business building them though, especially the bigger “mega” ones, reflecting the worth of money these days. Don’t know if the vain vessels see much sailing action however, as my contacts from the Med indicate that most of the time the opulence fleet stays at perpetual ready without almost ever actually leaving for the seas. I also hear that the local extralegal appropriators know well to leave the yuckhts’ owners’ luxury cars alone, perhaps reflecting a certain confluence of statûs there. Perhaps this makes the local rozzers’ life a bit easier, perhaps not.
Considering the resources and energy required to build these things, it’s poignant that they contribute mightily to CO2 emissions and also raise the cost of materials and labor for other projects. On that regard this little leopard delight featured here is positively benign in size. But then again it doesn’t take much buoyancy to float a couple of fashion models. Besides, if you like F1 liveries or the teams’ pit structures, for instance, I wouldn’t necessarily agree with your frame of crassness. Given that you’re a Brit (I presume, albeit leading a slightly expat life?) you may also attach cultural meanings quite different from those experienced in constitutional democracies to “class”. I, for one, am hard pressed to see the attraction in thoroughly blinged, panther jewellery inspiring, mad hatted and mink wearing royals (“reality” much preceded “TV” …).
Not that I’d take those away from you, by any chance. Just saying that we live in an age when superficial notions of crass and class seem less sufficient to address our challenges than we’ve perhaps been socially accustomed to. In a sense, that boat is the Rodney Dangerfield out there, speaking truth to power: “Hey everybody, we’re all gonna get laid!”
Or we could be f**ked just as well …
Joe,
gold chains (hawsers) indeed. You’ve missed a (go on, say it!) golden opportunity to make some quick bucks. I figure if people are going to paint a boat in that kind of scheme, they’ll go for faux gold (fools gold?) hawsers
@Peter
The English already have their upper crass, you call them footballers!
Is That Lewis Hamiltons new boat? He would look good playing Princes Guitar in the back of it!
I like it. Do they also sell it in the men’s version?
is not leopard, is a lion.
A Lion Cub.
Cub to mother Lionheart…
And as shadiness and class check it out under O.B.E.
Her Owner, have a passion for lions and -they say- black pantheres…
The Principality is not a fault if British have no taste!
But that it was true! I think it might be too late for this chap!
Hell, that’s hideous!
Joe,
I respectfully request that you abandon your planned coverage of the GP and hang around that monstrosity for the rest of the weekend. We simply have to know who it belongs to! Does Flavio have a brother/son/nephew?
In my younger days, I proudly sailed the world as a British Merchant seaman flying the Red Ensign.
I am appalled.
Could the owner of this ridiculous motor boat please remove it from the British register so he can then fly a more appropriate flag of convenience. He would then free up more money to spend on other tastless bling.
Peggy Bundy (“Married with Children”) won the lottery and bought this.
No more or less stupid looking than those old F1 Honda “World” cars.
What? No silhouette of a reclining female nude?
I’ve got it (or i gulped too much curdled tea this morning):
Remember Flavio’s yacht which was impounded?
This is the loaner.
We know already, he’s in Monaco to sell Team Lotus to Group Lotus and Renault F1 to Tony . . .
must . . resist .. buying loud sweater thought was cool in 80 something . .
(and of course only Flav can sort this Lotus mess, only he knows how to fake a franchise agreement . . )
– j
Leopard print… what the hell? Is this boat a business woman in her mid 40s out on the town trawling for some young men?
Dear Andrew,
Flavio has at least one son. There was rather a famous scandal surrounding the announcement of the pregnancy. Google it and revel.
It’s the tender to lionheart, Philip Green’s boat
NBC100,
Well, you cannot buy class then…
…you cannot buy class, buy grass instead!