Getting home after the Canadian Grand Prix is never easy. If you cannot get out on Sunday night you are stuck until Monday night – unless you go by way of New York or Toronto, famous still for bring an awful airport. Anyway, a lot of F1 folk like stay on in Montreal to party, or riot, or both. We left the track after GP+ was put to bed, about five hours after the race. The sun was going down and the sky over the rowing basin was the kind of colour that tells shepherds that tomorrow they can wear shorts.
The sad news was that my Sunday night was not one long party. I spent the evening typing in my hotel room, having 10-minute cat naps now and then, when the screen began to blur. This is the non-glamorous part of this life, battering keyboards until you drop, when everyone is hard a-partying.
I finished everything at about 11.30 this morning, which left just enough time for a shower before the hotel threw us out. With nothing much else to do, and no energy left, it was a good moment for a big lazy lunch. Everyone tends to hang out in the city, so if you walk the streets you always meet someone you know. After lunch I went fur hat shopping for a friend. Fur is not my thing, but I often find myself on shopping missions for others. The bad news was that raccoon is out of fashion these days. The fur trade, in any case, is a shadow of the industry on which Canada was built. There’s now just a small enclave of traders, not far from the Hudson Bay Company department store.
With nothing much to do and a car to play with, I volunteered to take my colleagues out to the airport and then pottered about, discovering outlying parts of the city: Pierrefonds, Senneville, Baie d’Urfe and Pointe Claire. All rather delightful. I wondered what they are like in the winter and decided that, in a perfect world, my bolt hole should be in a warm place…
Now, I’m in the bar in the terminal at Dorval. Half the paddock is here. Jenson Button is across the way, drinking mineral water. I’m on Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc, so life is not bad at all. The plan is to take an overdose of sleep and then awake in Paris.
Tough life, isn’t it?
Couldn’t agree more. Dorval is horrible. At least you can still drink indoors in Montreal, now if we could just get the smoking back. Alas, a life gone bye.
The “tough” life is Jenson’s right now, I would think. A disappointing result and you’re stuck with mineral water, while the press types down the Marlborough. He leads a wonderful life but this phase must be tough… especially with mineral wateer
He didn’t seem to have an answer for his relatively poor performance when the bbc questioned him after the race, did he. ‘Where are you losing time to Lewis ?’ ‘Everywhere’ was his stoney faced reply.
He knew the answer. It is called tyres.
Yet he was, when interviewed, at great pans to state that tyres were not the problem. Although JB would not specify, according to him, the trouble lay elsewhwere.
I’m reminded of the early Alonso years. He had what seemed like an odd driving style of an extremely sharp – exaggerated even – turn-in. But it worked; for that car. A few years later and that approach had changed altogether.
I was watching from the stands at the 4-5-6 chicane I think those are the numbers: right, left, right); there was no greater disparity between teammates as LH and JB in that section. There were many teammates going through very closely so it was interesting to observe how tied together they were. Except the McLarens. (I must say I found the Marussias quite entertaining as they both seemed positively evil on braking into 5).
Jenson was (from the outside view) perambulating. Inside the cockpit I’m sure it was very different but there didn’t seem to be anything happening.
Watching Lewis that day was one of the joys of (gosh – had to calculate it) 55 years of watching F1. He seemed to catapult out of the right-hander (4) then brake and downshift with a, unique to him, roaring BlaAp!-BlaAp! in one almighty up-against-the-harness all-anchors-out braking before cruising effortlessly through the left-hander. Only once did he lock it up (mighty cloud of tyre smoke); the rest of the laps were relentlessly the same rhythm, over and over.
I’m sure that McLaren and Jenson will be doing some intense comparative analysis of data from the event. Just like the Alonso example above, I think and hope that Jenson can find a way to make it work.
Make those turns 5-6-7. Or, “Grandstand 33″.
Meeting on Friday was certainly one of my GP weekend highlights. Safe travels home Joe to you and the rest of the F1 family
Ask Button if his overdose of sleep is over yet.
I first visited Montreal in the winter and couldn’t understand why there were big underground tunnels and shopping malls. Then I went outside and tried to walk one block on the street – that soon made me realize! I whole heartedly agree with your plan of a warm place to have a bolt hole, however nice Montreal is in the sunshine.
Joe how many air miles do you make each year ,
Too many
Thanks for the lift! Am now thumb twiddling in Ottawa with Byron. Ah, for the seductive lure of my own bed…
Safe travels home!
Byron the poet? Or Byron of the front line?
The poet of the front line.
You certainly packed a lot into your brief time in Canada Joe… well done!
Enjoy the Zeds.
Didn’t happen to see The Mole in there, did you? Seems to have gone to ground agan. As it were…
A poor weekend for JB in more ways than one.
Joe,,,when was the last time you were in Toronto? The airport is quite good especially when compared to some airports I have gone through…La Guardia, JFK, Rome,, CDG
A couple of years ago. Swore never to go back!
Spoken like a true Montrealer!
You’re going to *love* JFK! Especially if you arrive on Delta.
Been there, done that.
Yeah. Too many times. Grim. (NY residents’ choices are limited).
Buy more GP+, get Joe a NetJets card, I say!
Good to see you are supporting the New Zealand economy
Maybe Jenson should try drinking some Red Bull! Poor chap look really down and lost.
Wilson
Seemed fine and chirpy to me. Had been out to celebrate with the team ( I guess) the previous night until late late, but made up for it with a 10k run in the heat on Monday. These guys don’t let one race get them down.
In a perfect world one would have bolt holes in all the great cities.
Alas, mine is a sheltered life. I had to look up “bolt hole” (on the internet – it’s good for that stuff). As I understand it, a primary digit is not required but one or more may be preferred.
Wasn’t it during the equivalent layover a few years ago you dreamt up the Evening With Joes (Evenings with Joe?)
Orlando… Without the wine
Nice work mate ,your living our dream ,cheers
It was a tougher life for the raccoon who died just because someone has poor taste.
I never understand drinking alcohol before you get on a plane. You’ll end up in your seat on the runway with the “you can’t go to the loo” lights lit up desperate for a pee until the pilot can get the plane in the air.
I don’t have that problem!
A few beers before boarding and I can sleep most of the way from San Francisco to Heathrow…
So you have a friend who’s a Davy Crockett fan?
Nice post Joe – I’m a big fan of Marlborough sauvignon blanc as well but Australian Reisling (or for that matter German) goes down very well as well for a change. Given that you live in the home of the grape what white wine do you drink at home? – it’s probably that I’m tight but I find it quite hard to find affordable nice French whites.
Joe, I am pleased to see you are enjoying some of our most iconic wine – there is a good chance I helped pack and ship that bottle to Quebec for you to enjoy! And there can be no such thing as a bad day when you can have a glass of wine as part of it.
Agree with Keith that Jensen has his work cut out for him – recent results seem to be consistently below what you would call just a bad day at the office.
The race istelf was a cracker – probably my pick of the season so far.
Simon – Joe was lucky. I was in small-town Quebec after the race and all I could find comparable was “NZ-style White”. Sounded a bit sketch. Marlborough is all over in the States but I also enjoy Hawkes Bay when I can find it.
Got no excuse for this except hopefully a smile:
Joe Walsh being interviewed on BBC breakfast tv:
“So how is it different to twenty years ago Joe?”
“Well back then I had a lotta knobs, but now I’ve got a mouse!”
Bit of a wicked grin, actually
Well, someone is the Wrecking Ball.
Oh dear, we might just be playing the same soundtrack. . .
with friends like these, to the sound of Monro’s lilt . .
Top stuff, strange friend!
Sometimes I don’t wish that I had your life Joe.
This is not one of those times.
You’d think JB would be on something stronger (maybe not a day and a half after the race though). Reminded me of a driver, now a TV commentator, whose car let him down when he was well-placed in the Canadian Grand Prix, and at the airport he helped himself to “the biggest whisky I’ve ever had”.
read about just that incident a few days ago
Joe, great “Audience” on Friday evening, looking forward to see you in Texas. The book I mentioned to you is Four Thousand Lives Lost, by Alastair Walker. You are mentioned when he covers part of the sinking of the Emperess of Ireland.
Enjoy the Marlborough Sauvignon Joe. I feel sorry for Jenson – mostly for the mineral water but also his average race. Have a good flight back to Paris.
Nice post, Joe, the Crippen book arrived this morning….
Got my copy of The Grand Prix Saboteurs last week and am enjoying every page. I am researching and writing a book myself (not every day, only in my free time when my two kids and work allow), and am seriously impressed by the detail you achieved. Looking at the acknowledgement list, so many are deceased it appears you just managed to get in there and get the nitty gritty details before it was too late. I noticed too on the national archives that the SOE file for Benoit was released in 2003 and can be read in Kew. I am curious if there were any similar networks in Germany itself, where “allied” engineers may have played a roll in gathering intelligence, even if up to the run up to ’39. Some sensitive development data on Hitlers Volkswagen project (which from the outset was not just civilian) was leaked to the UK in 1935/36, triggering security alarms -hence my suspicion. Anyway, thanks for a fascinating read so far.
As someone who travels to Montreal regularly on business, I can tell you the highlight of every year is those precious few days in between when the ice melts and the roads start bubbling from the heat. And don’t mention the bugs. Please don’t mention the bugs.
Seems like most of Montreal fleas south to Cuba in Jan/Feb for the most part. Most Canadians run away from winter now instead of enjoying it. Wimps. You want a real winter – visit Winnipeg. Or not.
Bugs in Montreal? Next thing we’ll hear is someone will be complaining that their little Johnny was carried away into the bush by large black flies and devoured while the family was camping and the local press plays it up and well, there goes the other part of the tourist season.
You F1 guests should all be thankful that the students were unionized and that they required the appropriate Starbucks breaks each and every hour instead thinking up real ways to firebomb your butts like most ‘real’ revolutionaries would have done. Had the proper contract been negotiated correctly instead of some of them wasting time running around naked, (why are they always plain looking, skinny vegans who go naked?) they might have caused real issues for the Government as I hear our tank was down due to a head gasket issue and our two CF18′s had spent their fuel budget for the whole month as they were already booked by Bernie for Sundays fly over.
Oh and the airport is named Trudeau – who apparently also loved the weather in Cuba – so he started that exodus madness at the first flake.
Quebec City has better fur stores. Raccoons are rodents. Real men prefer Beaver.
Sober up Sir, You have now lost all credibility with anybody here possessing a GCE “O” level in English and Biology.
Say after me… “Raccoons are Procyonids, and Beavers are Rodents.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sense_of_humor
You rely on wikipedia for your education; no wonder you hit the bottle.
Seven in a row produced the obligatory cliché, “Magnificent Seven!”
And of course we forgive Joe for using it (during his 72 hours of ten-minute cat naps).
So, in case we get eight-in-a-row, we need to prepare Joe’s GP+ Headline, to help “Our Mate” from slipping on another cliché poop.
Let’s have your suggestions please:
I’ll start off with a dull one: “Extraordinary Eight!”
Your turn…
With apologies to The Simpsons: “A Love Eight relationship”
Excellent! That’d be ideal for a Massa-Alonso One-Two.
Beat that anyone…
a statistic worth the long w(eight) ?
You currently hold the Lanterne Rouge Sir
More than a little arcane, perhaps, but if Kobayashi happens to win it could be 七転び八起き (nanakorobi yaoki) meaning roughly “Fail seven times, rise up eight.”
If Di Resta or Hulkenburg fluke out a win (even longer odds on that one) it could be “Force Eight”…
Damn you, Ash, I want to find a way to turn that Kanji into a logo now . .
But were you criticising Shumi? You fiend!
“Force Eight!” Tremendous, and not as distant a possibility as at first may appear. That Di Resta Bloke is good!
Manuel from Barcelona says.. “Eees easy…”
Ocho en Valencia!
Octavo en España!
Have to admit that on the long drive up I was trying to imagine the #7 Headline. Failed miserably. Pressure on for our scribe.
Oh. There was an American TV show – Eight is Enough. !!
A Tudor drama with a touch of gore?
With the high likelihood of Grosjean/Raikonnen win in Spain I propose:
“Lotus 8″
Yes, I agree, a Lotus win in Canada would have been better, but the Lotus 8 was interesting. Chunky drove the prototype at over 100 mph with Frank Costin stapled to the bonnet so that he could study the airflow on wool-tufts around the front wheel arches.
If only there was a driver called Henry. Or Henri.
“I’m Henri the 8th I am…”
Well, it can be arranged…
Michael Henry Schumacher
Kimi Henry Raikkonen
Filipe Henri Massa
Romain Henri Grosjean
Spanish Pieces of Eight?
Mon Ami, M(eight)?
8th Wonder of the (F1) World?
Pr(eight)ing on…
As they say in auditions… next!
D(eight) with Destiny? (I’ll shut up now. Sorry for getting carried away.)
With that magnificent eruption of talent you snatched the Lanterne Rouge from the hand of Michael C.
Thank you. I’ll carry it with honour and, when the time comes, gladly pass it on to someone more disturbing – er, deserving.
A Greek chippy lunges for the Lanterne with;
OctAmazing… Kimi/Fillipe/Romain/Heiki etc
Opa!
Just want to pipe up in support of MediumJim’s comment on smoking. I have or had (he’s been off on one I don’t understand, lately) a rabid anti smoking pal, who came over regular, so was subjected to my love of a Robusto, or three. He got on my case so much. Noooo! Stop opening all the windows in December! I bought a Honeywell electrostatic air cleaner. Never a complaint afterwards. That also handily takes out the diesel particles from the intersection I live by. Tiny pub near me, haunt of cigarette chain smokers, packed to the gills, had a bigger model. Never any lingering smoke. I also remember reading a study which concluded that standing at Piccadilly Circus, you would inhale more nasties in 20 minutes from the fumes, than smoking a pack of Bensons. At first, I thought I should be making money selling those air filters, but I missed out on the IR heater boom . . there’s no correlation I can prove, but skyscrapers here now come with balconies, and I dare say it’s because the boardroom fancies a legal puff. Another funny one, pub opposite a local court, made their garden out good, that way. Instant boom in trade from the attorneys!
Gosh – had to scroll all the way back to the top to find the reference; thus have to comment somehow. I was impressed, during the race, by the guy in the next row who chain smoked all the way through. As a reformed tobacco addict I was rather surprised by (1) the persistence of this behaviour and (2) people did not hammer the guy for it. He was not alone. Rather surprised, being modern times and all that.
Well, I missed that one. Yes, that’s rude. I just think people who want a puff ought to have a speakeasy somewhere, some smokers I know find it very socially disruptive. It’s interesting, I once narrowly avoided a fight, because I had a rotten day and though a pint and a little pocket Cohiba would cool me off. Two rabid nincoms were yelling in my face. This was about when the smoke ban was announced, but well before the enactment. That was a bad day for me, the way Michael Douglas had a bad day in Falling Down. Good job I backed down, went elsewhere. Still, it was a very nasty experience.
So, could it just be, that tolerance of someone’s fumes, is a signal of protest?
Old Chinese curse is supposed to be “May you live in interesting times.”
Looks like that to me!
Colin what about
7up
“7Up” Now actually, THAT would have trumped Joe’s cliche.
If only we could work it in with a fizzy-product placement Marketing Manager,. Then Our Joe could buy one of those spooky robot cars he tootled around Canada in. What was the name of it now, blowed if I remember.
Seven Up was the headline used inside GP+… courtesy of Mr Tremayne.
Well done that Man!
How much is it worth to change his name from “Tremors” to David “Pepsi” Tremayne? Surely a crate of sweet soda water at least.
Hi Joe… Any news from the unhappy students in Montreal ? Did they spoiled the race in the end ? I think Pirelli did more damage than those kids
Nothing worth talking about. Not convinced they were students. The ones I saw looked very much like the dregs of society. Not impressed.
It’s so pathetic, some people hyped up a story of a lady in high heels being arrested with some protesters. The nutcase assumption was high heels = wealth = some F1 race goer in the paddock club. Or something like that.
I’m starting to think that we should just send Joe instead of UN peacekeepers. Somehow troubles seem to subside, wherever he goes!