One day, if I ever find myself with time on my hands, I think I might write a book entitled “How not to die”. It is a pretty catchy title – and might even guarantee selling a copy to Mr E.
Alas, such a publication would not give away the secret of eternal life, but rather it would tell the story of how one can make life difficult for one’s offspring when the time comes to rendezvous with St Peter at the Pearly Gates. I rather think that given the tragi-comedy elements involved, it might do for death what Peter Mayle did for the Luberon… It would involve all manner of high jinks that occur when one’s parent passes away in a foreign hotel in the back of beyond in Switzerland, while on a holiday designed to enjoy the scenic magnificence of Swiss railways and their mighty feats of engineering. It would involve contrary Swiss bureaucracy, missing death certificates and the complications involved in having to be buried in a world-famous cathedral. And one can add sub plots of broken down paperless cars and literally tons of beautifully labelled but utterly mixed up paperwork, dating back 75 years.
Trying to put this all in order has kept me fully employed for almost a month, during which time Formula 1 has ploughed its furrow without too much drama. The Barcelona testing has been as clear as mud (as ever) with the major excitement being a crash from which Fernando Alonso emerged shaken but unscathed. The conspiracy theories are pretty lurid, but there are lots of questions about the accident. I don’t know the answer, but I do know that the first rule of PR is never tell lies because you will be found out. McLaren knows this and so a lengthy explanation from the team about what happened is to be respected because they have nothing to gain from lies.
Hopefully I will be able to get up to full speed again in the coming days, although Chapter 14 of the aforementioned book is still writing itself. Onward…
joeblogsf1 
Sounds fun Joe.
My parents used to tell the story of a family they once knew who went on a caravan holiday in France. Sadly, dear old Grandma didn’t last the week. So they sat her on the loo, held her up with a spider bungee, locked the door and drove back to England.
Even when faced with such tragic and complicated events your writing never fails.
No rush Joe, some things are more important than motorsport (I know, know, how dare I!)… Having been through a sudden and unexpected loss in the family recently I know a little of what your on about, though obviously our situation was no where near as complicated – don’t worry, we’ll still be here, ready to bitch and moan about the latest F1 balls up whenever you’re ready…!
My condolences for your loss! Sadly lost my dad at age 15…and it always sticks by you..
Sorry to hear about your loss Joe
My sympathy for your loss.
Joe, to be honest, you owe us (your readers) no explanation. Life and death intrude at the most inconvenient of times.
I understand all too well the agonies you have been going through – my commiserations.
In our family we have ‘pink folders’ so that the Executors of our Wills have an annual update as to the cars, boats, houses, etc we own or have a share in as well as which Banks and Building Societies we have an account. Also a List of Principal Friends who I would like to be told of my passing.
My Folder includes an Order of Service for my Cremation as well as where the Wake will be held. (The Folder is annually updated).
Thus I have tried to minimise the impact of my death on the loved ones who have volunteered to complete the Process when I die. This means I now enjoy Living my Life even more than would otherwise be the case.
My thoughts are with you Joe
Once you have resolved the issues resulting from your father’s untimely death, it would be very useful if you found the time to write the book.
I suspect a number of your readers are. like me, over the hill and gathering speed on the down side!
A few tips from you would help getting our house in order, and hopefully allow our successors to avoid some of the pitfalls you are struggling with?
Commiserations and condolences.
Nice Joe.
Most things in life are slightly more palatable if a pinch of humour can be administered to the process.
Good luck with getting everything finalised, Joe. Sue and I know just what you are going through.
Joe,
If I interpret your message correctly. I am very sorry for your loss. As I write this I just got off the phone from my elderly (non independent) mother about my father going into hospital. I am not having to deal with the issues you (may) have had to deal with but I can see where the path is leading. I don’t want to walk it, as I am sure you didn’t, but inevitably most of us do. The value I place on your wit and wisdom (in equal measures) makes your obfuscated message more impactful. It shouldn’t, but it does. In that people we feel closer to in a connected world feel like friends. (and we spoke on the phone once many years ago)
KS
Hi Joe, been there done that…sort of. Having read about some of your Father’s exploits, I’m sure he will be wandering through the Pearly Gates chuckling to himself though. Good luck and keep going…you sound as if you’re already seeing the funny side.
Hang in there Joe…
Good grief.. a whole month ! Hope all is getting slowly back to normal, Joe.
Sorry to hear your news Joe – dealing with similar business lies ahead for many of us. Looking forward to your reporting of the new season: the world keeps turning and our work can honour our parents (if that is not too trite).
Joe: I hope that does not mean one of your parents were the subject of your research. If so, you have my condolences.
All the best . . .
A sense of humour is a good sign.
Sorry for your loss Joe
Thoughts with you Joe, the blog can wait, sorry to hear of such sad news
Sorry for your loss Joe. All the best.
You’re doing a tremendous job of juggling your commitments and responsibilities. I am amazed that you haven’t taken further time away from F1 to sort out your family’s affairs. Credit to you for holding both forts. Your readership are an intelligent and considerate bunch, we completely understand should you need to put F1 aside (or at least spend less time towards following it) than previously was the case.
Very to sorry to hear of your loss Joe. You certainly have our sympathy and understanding at this time.
Sorry to hear about all the issues.
Which most likely makes this question bad timing: Are you doing a dinner here in Melbourne this year?
I need to put in for the night off work so I can attend!
All the best
Travis.
Condolences Joe. Huge hassle for those left behind, but to go out doing what you want would be most peoples ideal.
You may find you could compile an anthology on the theme from your readers experiences.
A friends father managed to expire up a tree, deep in the forests of eastern Germany. His widows only consolation was that he had not managed to hit the wild boar he was aiming at, or the family would have had to ship two bodies home.
I could probably share in that story, I tell my wife just bury me in the backyard but the won’t let you do that either.
Been there Joe – best of luck.
Speaking as a child of someone who recently died unexpectedly, I can say that even when administering a simple estate it seems to end up a labyrinthine nightmare. Hang on in there!
Totally sympathise with you there Joe. Sounds as if you had much more of a bureaucratic nightmare than most do. Apart from interfering with the natural grief process,there are so many surprises and discoveries to make. My nightmare was intensified by a fairly incompetent “family lawyer” who reckoned everything was of far greater value than it actually was.
I would imagine as a historian you won’t want to be chucking out any old papers “in case” there’s anything of historical value, which means you could well end up being the one doing the revised sifting, cataloguing, etc.
I envy the first “three parent” baby because I reckon that after the second of my parents died, I would have just about have it all sussed by the third…
Best Wishes to your family too.
You know, the funny thing about reading a blog regularly is that you feel like you get to know the person who writes it. While I miss seeing new posts, my feelings are with you and your family as you adjust during this difficult time.
We wish you the best Joe – and look forward to the future!
Good that you have kept a sense of humour about the whole situation !!!
Chin up Joe. I’m sure the importance of family is nothing new to you and I am also sure your family is very appreciative of everything. I hope all is well with you and the family all factors considered.
On an F1 note – I’ve just seen Force India launch their new car and the big thing for me that stood out was the word “Sahara” on the side of the car. How on earth is this possible given Subrata Roy is in jail, but furthermore how is this possible with more and more sanctions put on him to stop him moving cash? I see the Indian Supreme Court is taking action against the Sahara Group now for ignoring court orders and paying out specific depositors. How and when will this end?
I think your blog is the most read website regarding F1, even more than BBC and Sky Sports.
And yet.. the culture in Japanese companies is that there is the outward face where they say anything which makes the company look right, and the inward face where the truth is given, but only to members of the company.
If H were involved in this scenario, I would not expect the official explanation to be correct.
When I got drift that something was askew, I grabbed my meerschaum pipe and did a little Sherlock Holmes. I found you, of course, in Wikipedia, and from there found your father and sister. Naturally when I looked them up, I saw the news and posted my sympathies, albeit discretely, but on it’s own, not attached to the racing post that I entered after it. It sounds like you need to be a bit of a Sherlock Holmes yourself in dealing with all of the hoops of fire that need to be addressed, particularly difficult in a time of loss. It sounds like you are still dealing with a tangled web. Again, my sympathies. All the very best Joe.
Trust me Joe . Even in the most ‘ normal’ of circumstances when it comes to a family members passing the mountains of paperwork and bureaucracy are to say the least … overwhelming .
If I may be just a tad vulgar … we’ve come to the sad and rather disturbing conclusion that dealing with a family members passing is ten times more complex and difficult than [ even ] dealing with their extended care while they’re alive
So with all your added complexities … good luck with Chapter 14 … don’t be surprised if 15 is even worse … and the final chapter/conclusion ? Well … suffice it to say it cannot come too soon .. but it wont .
To end on once again a somewhat if you’ll excuse me vulgar note . To quote/paraphrase the TV character [ played by one of yours ] ‘ House ‘
” Life sucks … but it beats the ___ out of the alternative ” .. (my adding in) .. especially for the family members involved
Sorry to hear about your loss, Joe. Stay strong.
Wishing you peace, Joe
Is this hospital-gate the first step in Alonso distancing himself from the team and car? Why else would he spend 3 days in hospital and miss the last test if he were – as reported – uninjured?
Because he is concussed
Then not uninjured
Concussion is a serious injury.
(Not at all) Strange how insignificant F1 and it’s petty politicking can feel at times like these.
Commiserations to you and yours Joe.
My sympathies. I’m part way through organising my own affairs and have only recently realised just how difficult my wife and family would have found things without at least some input from me.
Hi Joe, Well your problems appear to have been of a different order of magnitude to those I encountered when my Dad died, and then some 2 and a bit years later, my Mum went too. Both times I felt completely overwhelmed by the task of sorting their funerals and affairs, which I would have struggled to do without my wife helping me. I had a sole brother then, who was about as helpful as a chocolate soldier and whose contributions after my Dad went were minimal in the extreme, and who exceeded this when my Mum died, by challenging her short and very simple Will, which resulted in a 5 year Court action instead of a 50/50% split of the assets as she had set out legally!
Anyway, that was my personal, and awful, experience of parental expiration, but in some respects not as complex as you have gone through! My thoughts are with you, it is such a painful thing that we all have to go through, and although mine have been gone 15 & 13 years respectively, I still miss them a helluva lot….In regard to your Dad, he does seem to have been a fascinating man, and had an interesting and varied life, where he also had the possibilities of doing good for others, which is a fortunate position to have been in, and it also looks like he had a full and positive life and good reason to be proud of all his family…..that to me as a Dad myself, makes him a lucky guy in most respects, and makes you and your siblings lucky to have had him in your lives for so long. Best wishes to all your family.
Dear Damien
Your story resonates strongly with me.
As I wrote in a separate entry, am caring for my dad, shared with my mum- this has gone on for 5 years, thus far, and, will continue for a further year after dad passes on, till my mum gets on her feet. I very much identify with you, when you talk about an unhelpful sibling.
My sister executed a planned move to NZ, with her husband and 3 kids, a month after dad was diagnosed. Her noble reason was that it was a better place to bring up the kids. I discovered later, that it also gave her the opportunity to, with her in- laws, buy some acres, and have the horses she has yearned for all her life. Fair enough, though deciding not to divulge that was interesting. Numerous times, she has said ‘If I can do ANYTHING, just let me know. In the period 1985-2010, my father was admitted to hospital for surgery 21 times. My sister, like me, a Registered Nurse, took leave to provide support on one of those occasions. About 6 months ago, I emailed her, asking her if, after my dad passes, she would have mum over for 3-6 weeks, so that I could have a break, take some time for my own grief. Her answer. ‘Ahhh, mum’s pretty resilient. Anyway, wouldn’t want to interrupt her grief process’. Guess it might get in the way of her daily gallop. I have made a promise to myself that, after my parents have died, I will not waste one ml of oxygen communicating with her ever again.
You can choose your friends, you can’t choose your relatives, but, you can dump the parasites out of your life.
Cheers
MarkR
Hi Mark, So true about choosing friends but not relatives. I try and hammer it into my kids that their siblings should be their closest and best friends, and that they should keep solid together…..hope it works and that they don’t all fight each other when their Mum & Dad are gone!
So sorry for your predicament, although it is one many of us come to and have to go through at some point. I sincerely hope that all three of you gain something from this painful period in your lives and that your Mum and you will find reason to be grateful for the feelings that you all have now but that maybe are not as vivid as they will be when your Dad passes on. I hope he goes peacefully and that you do not have much trouble with your sibling afterwards. Can’t say much else except keep strong and know that you are not alone on this journey. Our parents really are special people in our lives but sadly we all sometimes overlook this fact in our rush through the modern world, where work and play can and does, sometimes, put personal relationships on the back burner until it is too late to have them. All my best wishes mate.
Joe, when Mr E does shuffle off his mortal coil (although rumour has it he will avoid this by just paying a large fine) think of the loose ends that he’ll leave behind! Glad to see you have kept your good humour during these difficult times and I, along with every other JBF1 reader, look forward to having you back at full force for the upcoming season. Best wishes, JS.
Now James not Allen, I read today of a plan by a surgeon, to put people’s heads on donor bodies….he hopes to do the operation by 2017 and in London. He further suggested that if bodies could be cloned, then it would, in his view, be possible to just transfer one’s head onto a replica body….
Now, let’s assume the first part comes off, and the surgeon is successful in transplanting the head of someone onto a donor body…..that might well mean that Bernie could go on and on and on and on…well, you get my drift eh?
An 83 or 84 year old head on a say 30 year old body….jeez I bet Bernie would jump at that chance….think how much more money he could continue to make?
Sounds more like a Tom Sharpe plot to me! They do say “write what you know”, and based on your last two superb books I’d be interested to see what you made of this saga if you ever decide to mine it for material.
Also, many condolences on the events of the last month. As someone who grew up in Ealing during the 1980s, although my family were of Rev. Bunce’s flock over at All Saints, your father was of course very much a figure who featured large in local life. They don’t make ’em like that, etc. etc. etc.
I’m sure it would be an excellent read Joe, as is everything else of yours I have seen. All the best to you and your family, and thanks for the wonderful writing.
And for all you fans out there – believe me Joe has been doing a great job in this other role over the past few weeks,,,,,,, and I hope too that he can get back to work as soon as possible, so you can appreciate him as much as I have over these days. Thank you Joe.
If the accident was a non event nothing to see here moment, why was alonso kept in 4 days…..very strange.
Concussion
I find the whole deal very strange . no real news on an injury that kept a driver in the hospital for 3 days. rumors that he won’t be ready for Australia. all is happy and on message at McLaren..when Alonso was ready to throw helmets and be angry about not having a car ready to go?
Concussion is a huge thing these days. Have a look at American Football. Players over the years have had multiple concussions in short succession and it has not done them any good at all. There are law suits I believe going on at the moment.
It will be, if it isn’t already the next big scandal in contact sports. So if McLaren chose to not run Alonso in testing, it’s no bad thing.
Its not strange – one has to be very careful with regard to concussion. There have been recent serious concerns raised about this in football and rugby where the g-forces involved are nowhere near F1 levels.
Concussion. End of story.
FastEric, concussion is a serious injury. Just because it isn’t external don’t dismiss it. If treatment is poor or rushed, as many contact sports are learning, it can cause lasting and severe brain damage, that may only manifest itself months or years later. My own experience following a road accident was that I felt fine, but the doctors who examined me pointed out that my eyes were doing completely different things to one another. Cue a four day “zero stimulus” stay in hospital. A friend who recently wrapped herself and her bicycle around a lamp post at speed was kept sedated in hospital for about a week, is to avoid any situation whereby her head may be knocked for six months, and she isn’t allowed to even touch alcohol for two years.
The concussion diagnosis came straight away, and Alonso is very much following the expected course of action.
Well I hope you get it sorted Joe and I hope you are able at some point to shed light on the Alonso crash.
‘McLaren……. have nothing to gain from lies’ – yet the nutters are in full flight. Don’t see anything in their explanation to pick over though plenty have. I’m missing something, need your analysis if/when you are able…….
My sympathies, Joe. I had to “export” my late father out of the USA back to Canada. Paperwork, paperwork and more paperwork. And the bills! Forget US healthcare and its famous $50 aspirins. How about $3800 from the hotel to repair the door to his room? Another tale to tell at his wake, while enjoying a nice scotch… As someone said at the Oscars, call your parents NOW and tell them you love them. All the best,
Wow! That beats the $1,000 ambulance that was not required! My lot used the roof…
Good luck with the paperwork. Your absence is reminding me of the need for balance against all the over-dramatisation, histrionics and foolishness of most of the other F1 sites…
Amen
Sorry to hear of your loss.
Just a thought on waking the dead with REAL exhaust notes. Dump the turbos and go with SUPER charging. That way F1 can retain all the exhaust pipes and sound energy to retain fans. OK you will lose a bit of energy recuperation but isn’t 180 bhp enough already? If the F1 teams cant introduce this mature technology error free then they should try tiddlywinks.
You should be very proud of that man who left a meaningless paper trail, but more importantly lived his life as a decent man who left his mark on the world in his own unique way. So take your time to remember and celebrate the quirkiness of his ways Joe,because tomorrow you’ll be back in the world of Formula One, and in the company of lesser men.
Dear Joe, all
Bren, just read your entry. Have been searching for words to express exactly the same sentiment, without success.
I concur fully with your entry, and find great beauty and truth in it.
Cheers
MarkR
Thank you for your kind remarks
bon courage
I’m sorry to hear this. I’d imagined that all (!) you’d had to deal with was your own grief. Clearly the universe is playing silly buggers with you. Good luck in getting everything sorted to your satisfaction.
And re. Mclaren – yes, I agree entirely. I don’t see how they could have denied the rumours any more categorically or straightforwardly. And I can’t imagine them doing that unless they were absolutely satisfied. Seemed a bit strange at the time, wasn’t, case closed.
Welcome back Joe, it should be an interesting read for sure.
Onward indeed. Hopefully upward.
Best wishes Joe.
Condolences. Hope things are sorted out. Subscriber for next season.
N
Dear Joe, all
I am currently sharing the care of my 86yo dad (advanced liver cancer, dementia, et alia) with my 80yo mum
It is bloody hard at times, but, something that I know I will be glad that I did for the rest of my life. It is hard to watch dad deteriorate, though, he still gets a reasonable amount of enjoyment out of his life, watching recordings of car races, etc. I count myself lucky- to lose a loved one suddenly is one of the ‘it could be worse’ situations I remind myself of when I get fed up.
I really sympathise with you, as regards the post mortem sort through.. My mother is a bit of a hoarder. I am making a bit of an understatement here. She is adamant that, for example, the bird cage which has been ‘sans l’oiseau’ since 1976 ‘might come in handy one day’. Suffice to say that, anticipating my own similar experience in the indeterminate future, I really feel for you.
That you should make two entries, apologising for brief pauses in output, and, explaining why, to us, your readers, who pay not a penny to you, evokes a deep admiration, and speaks so strongly of the person you are.
Thoughts and prayers for you.
Cheers
MarkR
The world needs more like you, full respect.
My apologies Joe for my previous post, I recognize it was a poor attempt at humor.
Sorry for your loss Joe, and nice to see you back.
I know the truth generally comes out but people seem to believe the cars are beautifully earthed by 4 rubber tyres ……….but here I’m thinking that the FIA or FOM have now mandated metal skid blocks (to improve the show) and therefore this can POTENTIALLY allow an electrical discharge …… perhaps these are not such a good idea with a dodgy electrical system unless these are fully insulated ?????
Condolences; as is custom for some of us, I wish you long life, Joe.
My condolences Joe. I will certainly get that book when published, and keep my mum close to home.
**manly hugs**
Deepest sympathies for your loss Joe, I did enough Headbanging trying to sort out my Mother’s affairs, and she passed away in an English Hospital! I remember becoming very familiar with the phrase “that will take six to eight weeks” while dealing with all companies and government agencies involved.
Joe, take as long as you need and we’ll enjoy your articles when you’re back.
Joe, for what it’s worth you have my sympathies also. Having been in a similar (but way less complicated!) situation a few years back, the one thing that it made me very determined to do was make a will, clear out a lot of unecessary crud in the house, collect all relevant papers into a single (fireproof) file box, etc., etc. In short, make everything ‘easy’ for those people I intend to outlive!
When I was executor after my unlce passed away I was trying to closeout his water bill. The nice lady at the call centre asked me if could get him to give his permission on the phone before she would let me deal with his account. Perhaps in Manilla they can communicate with the afterlife. To be fair to United Utiliities they did waive the bill when I wrote to the UK Customer services director askign if they had a Ghost Whisperer….
All the very best Joe and family…
Joe. My condolences. Am sure I know the famous cathedral; a masterpiece in every sense of the word. He’ll certainly rest in peace among some very illustrious company there.
Condolences to you, and to all your kind, well-intentioned readers who are taking this opportunity to share their stories for the benefit of us all.
As a funeral director who organises 10 – 12 international repatriations a year I feel your pain at dealing with the bureaucracy and associated documentation. Whilst I am sure it will give you no solace, trust me though there are far worse places to either retrieve or repatriate a deceased person to than Switzerland.
My regards to you and your family.
My sympathies for your loss and subsequent troubles.
After his experience with my mothers funeral, my father requested a cardboard coffin and that absolutely NO funeral directors should be involved in his funeral.
That lead to all manner of complications: the coffin was too small, fragile, and without any means of handling it, most crematoria will not accept DIY funeral.
Finally after the DIY service, the crematorium people stated that they can’t put the cardboard coffin in as it would burst in flames as soon as they open the door…. ! I had to go back home and reinforce the coffin with plywood and chipboard !
Regards,
Martin
Coffins must retain structural integrity for a set amount of time within the cremator for safety reasons – having flammable liquids (fat) being released from the coffin and hence out of the cremator and into the surrounding work area is no fun at all.
One of the only industries that dictates prices to clients without the need for incentives or discounts, they’ve got you. The absurdity of all the accessories and options is actually amusing at what is a difficult time. Good for your Dad to avoid the racket, not great for you at the time but hopefully with time past you can see some humour in the situation of the required coffin fortification. Personally the funeral directors sample book of satin coffin liners creeped me out reminding me of every Dracula and low budget horror film seen.
My sympathies on your loss and the ensuing complications.
Best wishes, Joe.
Hope you get everything sorted before heading off to Melbourne, Joe. Sue and I have been through something similar, if perhaps less complicated, with all four of our parents now and it’s never fun. Unlike F1.