After the race in Shanghai, we had GP+ done quickly and were soon on a coach which the race organiser had arranged for media members to go straight from the circuit to the airport. I’m not sure if I can think of any other race where this happens, but it does rather underline the fact that Shanghai Pudong International Airport (PVG) is regarded by F1 people with the same kind of reverence as when US Marines look at the roof of the Saigon embassy when the last choppers were going in and out in 1975.
If you miss someone at the circuit (which is easy given its daft design), the chances are you will catch them in the departure lounges. We spent 20 minutes in the immigration queue, shooting the breeze with Nico Hulkenberg, who is a cool and laid back individual (a real surfer dude), and then rushed onward to the Emirates lounge, which, rather bizarrely, is accessed by way of a Burger King restaurant. Juxtapositions like this are not unusual in China where Van Cleef & Arpels in Beijing is right next door to KFC. We stopped to say hi to the two Verstappens (père et fils), who were cheerfully surrounded by empty burger boxes. Then we noticed that at the next door table was the unlikely figure of race winner Nico Rosberg, who was looking very cheerful. This was, he said, a tradition during the F1 evacuation of Shanghai that goes back a few years. After a chat we left them all to their junk food and dashed into the lounge, for several quick glasses of wine and some rapid keyboard thumping before the time came to fight the way to the plane. Having had a great uncle on the last boat out of Singapore in ’42, it seems that I have the right kind of DNA for these moments.
Working on most planes is never easy whether you fly in Business or Cattle classes. Business has space and comfort, but then tiredness gets you; the other has nothing to commend it as a working environment, unless one has an iPad-sized machine. The last Sunday night race stories were filed from the lounges in Dubai before we rushed on to second planes in that Lost in Translation disconnected world that is Dubai International Airport, or DXB to those who talk in such terms.
I then spent the next seven hours on the way home, sitting behind one of those horrible people who insist on pushing their seats back into your space at all times and are not even civilised enough to sit up at meal times, unless ordered to do so. I know that passengers have a right to do as they please, but there is also a thing called “airline etiquette” which is an informal way to behave in a civilised fashion, given the restrictions imposed with airline seats. Anyway, there are always a few people who don’t get it, and one is left with a lot of time looking at the scalp of the person ahead of you. As I watched The Revenant, I was sad that sharp knives are not allowed on flights because scalping the person in front seemed, in my state of some fatigue, like a perfectly reasonable response.
In the end I just laughed, felt a twinge of amusement that in a year or two, this person will be very bald, and watched movies through the night, with my Bose earphones cancelling out the world around me. These clever devices are so good that stewardesses have to wave their hands in front of your face to offer you drinks and no baby in the world can be heard squalling. I’ve watched about 20 movies in recent weeks on our various long haul F1 races. I can even remember one or two of them. This is one of the joys of flying, you never need to go to the cinema… I’ve seen pretty much everything I want to see in a number of languages, although try as I might I still struggle to get into Bollywood. The best thus far, to my taste at least, was 5 to 7, a rather charming story of the differing ideas of morality in France and America.
Anyway, I had saved up The Revenant and the latest Sandra Bullock for the Chinese trip. The former was very good, but not at all my kind of film, while the latter lady is such a good actress that she’s always worth watching. Her latest movie is called Our Brand Is Crisis, the story of American spin doctors in action against one another in an election in Bolivia. It’s a George Clooney (Smokehouse) production, so you know that there will be a message that will fly over the heads of those who see Donald Trump as the answer for US politics. It is a good movie in terms of performances, but suffers from its rather too earnest script, although there are some great quotes and some memorable moments, notably when two campaign buses get into a race on a mountain road.
The message, of course, is that politicians will do and say whatever it takes to get elected and will then betray the electorate… and if we are naive enough to believe in causes we must expect the pain and the disappointment that inevitably comes because in politics nothing is sacred and winning is all that matters. I like the fact that Clooney continues to fight for causes, if only because he can help people understand how the world works. I’m with him on that one. If we give up fighting it all just becomes meaningless show business. We may not change the world by doing this, but at least we try…
There is some food for thought in this for F1 fans.
So, you’re NOT allowed to scalp excessive seat-recliners?
Next you’ll be telling me that you’re no longer allowed to kill and eat screaming toddlers. The world is going mad I tell you!
A third brilliant race this year, Joe. Those who still decry the lack of ontrack action in current F1 clearly aren’t making an effort to watch the races.
Anyway, the main purpose of this quick note is to empathise about fellow airline passengers who fail to follow reasonable etiquette. Sue and I flew from Manchester to Mauritius via Dubai on a couple of Emirates’ wonderful A380s for an assignment in the Indian Ocean back in February.
On the flight from Dubai to Mauritius we had a Chinese couple aged 30 or so in front of us who put their seats back to full recline before we had even commenced pushback. A flight attendant told them to put their seats back into fully upright mode for take-off, which they did until he turned his back and they then immediately fully reclined them again before we had even started moving. Thereafter the flight attendants simply failed to take any further action and my kicking of the heels of the female Chinese in front of me failed to generate any response.
Then, as soon as we had touched down in Mauritius and whilst still decelerating on the main runway they stood up, took their large cabin bags out of the locker above and proceeded to stand right by the exit door whist the plane was still travelling at some speed. Sadly the Emirates cabin crew simply let them do this.
I have a good friend who is a former Red Arrows pilot and who then became a commercial large passenger jet pilot and he told me after I had related this incident to him that airlines tend to tell their cabin crew to by and large just let passengers do what they want these days to avoid confrontation.
How we were willing our A380 to have to suddenly jam its brakes on and for the painful Chines pair to go flying in a different way.
C’est la vie these days, I guess.
One of the worst things in this world, in my opinion, is lack of RESPECT. It comes in all shapes and sizes. And disrespectful airline passengers are just one of them.
“If we give up fighting it all just becomes ‘show’ business. We may not change the world by doing this, but at least we try…”
Bravo!
Don’t be tempted to tweak the nipple of the baldy. Doing that has got Aussie swimmer Grant Hackett into all kinds of problems.
Would you like to expand on that? It’s just that I’m an ex-competitive swimmer and I’ve never heard of this story, so am very curious…………
I’m 6’4″, fly cattle car and don’t recline the seat…. ever! I was brought up to be civil and respectful. That said, my size 11s can reach a LONG way under the seat ahead if they don’t want to reciprocate respect.
The world is full of horrible people!
We all know that anyone who is not like us is horrible…..
Indeed so. The trouble is that this one was like me. He was a pro traveller and he knew what he was doing.
Now, take my case. They hung me up here five years ago. Every night, they take me down for twenty minutes, then they hang me up again, which I regard as very fair, in view of what I done, and, if nothing else, it’s taught me to respect the Romans, and it’s taught me… that you’ll never get anywhere in this life, unless you’re prepared to do a fair day’s work for a fair day’s pay!
I pay for the seat and it is designed to recline. I will be courteous and talk to you before I do, I will not just slam my seat back and crush your knees but I pay for the right to recline my seat. Airplanes are for travel, that you have to work is not my problem.I will bring my seat up for meal service but in the end, if you don’t like it, too bad.
if airlines don’t want you to recline, they will stop the seat from reclining. Until then, I will continue to use what they offer.
Please don’t crucify me for this… what’s so wrong with reclining seats? I understand the issues during meal times and take-off/landing. Maybe it’s a cultural thing but where I was raised in Asia, those were the only times we are ever advised to keep the seats up. It is simply more comfortable to recline and if the passenger in front of me also reclines, I have never had a problem with that. It’s “expected”.
I guess it’s a case of genuinely being unaware of how badly it is perceived in some places.
The reclining was designed for sleeping. Thus I use it as and when I sleep. Otherwise it is invasive. I don’t agree with seat-blocking devices although I know they exist, but reclining at all times, pre-take off in particular, tells a lot about a person. However some of it is cultural because different nations have different understand of personal space.
I thought ‘Our Brand Is Crisis’ was terrific, especially in Billy Bob Thornton’s portrayal of James Carville (not to slight yet another superb turn by Sandra Bullock). If you haven’t seen it, I’d also recommend ‘The War Room’, the documentary about Clinton’s 1992 campaign with Carville at the helm. A gem form Carville on Pennsylvania’s electoral landscape: “Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, and Alabama in between.”
Verstappenen?
Oh dear, there are now two Mike C’s.
Ahhhh… So, that’s where my Bose Noise Cancelling Headphone went. I left them on a bus coming from Angkor Wat to Bangkok a few years ago.. I didn’t know you were on the same bus.
Now… Send them back🙂 …… Please
These are only a year old!
I’ll take your word for it🙂
I’d like to nominate the Bose designer for a Nobel Peace Price since I got mine.
You take them out your ears and can’t believe it is legal the amount of noise that is in the background.
” then spent the last seven hours on the way home, sitting behind one of those horrible people who insist on pushing their seats back into your space at all times and are not even civilised enough to sit up at meal times, unless ordered to do so. I know that passengers have a right to do as they please, but there is also a thing called “airline etiquette” which is an informal way to behave in a civilised fashion, given the restrictions imposed with airline seats. Anyway, there are always a few people who don’t get it, and one is left with a lot of time looking at the scalp of the person ahead of you”
The last time that happened to me, I ended up suffering a stroke caused by ” Deep Vein Thrombosis. “. I would normally get up and stretch my legs, but, was literally trapped and every-one around me was asleep. I should have just woke them all up and stretched my legs .
I ended up with about 120 days in hospital . Haven’t flown since, and that was in 2011.
Enter the lounge via Burger King? None of the TV ads mention that.
Serial seat recliners simply get me kneeing and bumping their seat “accidentally” the entire trip. Unfortunately few ever get the message.
Graham Read yes I witnessed something similar in Vietnam last year when a passenger tried to get something out of the overhead locker as the plane was approaching the runway to start its roll out. Cabin crew were getting frantic but would not/ could not move from their jump seats. Took an Aussie (me) to yell out “Sit the F… down” before he did. My brother witnessed similar incidents in China when passengers would get up immediately after landing and make for the door. Joe yes had a “Jason recliner” in front of me a couple of years ago all the way home to Sydney from Dubai. He was about the size of Bernie so leg room wasn’t an issue
Ha! The extremely large and greasy fat women sitting next to me on an Auckland to Los Angeles Qantas flight is right up there. I always take a window seat in steerage so at least I have one side covered. She covered the other very well, including a lot of my personal space. I only got up once to use the facilities, as it was such a production for her to get up, cross past the next seat, and stand in the aisle. I (humorously) wrote Qantas explaining the situation and suggesting they have a passenger size checker similar to the baggage size checks and, if the passenger won’t fit, make them buy two seats. They nicely responded with a $500 voucher for my next flight. I understand your pain.
What George Clooney, or any other cosseted Hollywood “star”, knows about the working of the world could be fit on a 3×5 index card with plenty of room left over for your favourite recipe.
I think that sounds like an unwise sweeping generalisation, at best.
Joe,
One way to seek revenge on the jerk in front of you with his seat fully back is to turn your air nosel full blast at his head.
When he turns around to ask you to stop it, you kindly reply “if you move your seat up it won’t hit you”. It works evetytime.
As always, thank you for your informative blog. I hope my suggestion helps ongoing.
I can’t remember the last time I saw an individual air nozzle on a plane, so it might well have been on the RAF VC10 which took us from Kai Tak to Brize Norton in 1974…
An alternative is a pencil and a thick book of crossword puzzles. Place the tip of the pencil in the opening of the miscreant’s ear and use the book to [“recommendation removed on the advice of our legal team” – Ed.]
You should try an A380
I have a trick I like to use on the permanent seat recliner people.
If you get a bottle of water that has one of those sport drink type caps on the top that you just pull up to open then you moisten the the top a bit. Then pretend to sneeze and make the noise nice and loud and at the same time give the bottle a squeeze so a fine mist of water comes out. The person in front will think you’ve sneezed all over the back of their head and quickly put the seat up to avoid any further attacks.
Oh dear. That’s not nice…
That is an amusing post!
Brilliant – just Brilliant ………… this conjures an exact feeling which I now can fully comprehend …….. thanks ……. “Shanghai Pudong International Airport (PVG) is regarded by F1 people with the same kind of reverence as US marines look at the roof of the US embassy in Saigon when the last choppers were going in and out in 1975.”
To be historically correct, the US Marines present at the time were the ones conducting the evacuation. Those being evacuated were embassy and other government personnel as well Vietnamese civilians fleeing the oncoming bloody takeover by the forces from the North. A small point, but an important one. Perhaps a more apt analogy might be to British forces at Dunkirk?
The US Marines were also leaving…
Thank you Joe
…believe I have read that there’s a device on the market that one can fit to the seat in front to prevent it from reclining ! ….there must tales from folk who have used them or at least tried to ? thoroughly enjoyed the Shanghai race…the best to-date i think…..the thought occurs that Tag Heuer, makers of fine, albeit costly, watches, has so speedily mastered the art of building fast and reliable hybrid V6s…..Honda take note !
Was the PU actually homologated as a Tag Heuer, or is it literally a Renault under another name?
There was some questions and lots of discussion when the deal was done, as to whether RB would put a lot of their own technology into the Renault ICE – did this actually happen or are their PUs identical to those used by the works Renault team?
You are so right about the Lost in Translation feel to the Emirates Lounge in Dubai. You could wander around its vast expanse for days and not be noticed. Serenely quiet which I do like though. Incidentally I haven’t identified any discernible difference between “First” and “Business” other than the food menu.
Okay Joe…
What model Bose headphones are they?
I do love a good personal recommendation.
QC20
Joe, pretty sure you are aware of this, but there are also airlines who don’t have reclining seats anymore. The seat slide down in the hardcase, as it were. That way one controles only their own space. Not sure if mentioning the name of the airline violates your blogrules, but it’s based in Hong Kong, so I suspect you might have flown with them from China.
Not that I fly nearly as often and as spread out across the world as you do, but I fly with them whenever I can. Even if you travel to and from one of the venues with them (or another airline with the same seats), it will be worth it.
The Emirates lounge accessed thru a Burger King reminds me of The Man From Uncle whose HQ was entered thru a small dry-cleaner/laundry.
George Clooney’s message will not fly over the heads of those planning to vote for Trump. That’s the message they have been getting for far too long from far too many outlets and far too many politicians, which is why they are willing to gamble on Trump. I hope you view the news from the US with a highly jaundiced eye, as “that which must not be said, or even referred to” is not said and not referred to, or is lied about. We have become like the Russians, who read Izvestia, Tass, and Pravda to see what was left out.
As a ex airline employee I sympathize with you Joe . However if you get stuffed into “steerage” ,having impolite passengers in your personal space is the price you pay . I can only suggest upping your salary to pay for at least an upgrade to “business ” class to ensure a reasonable work environment.
You have obviously never been an F1 journalist. What should I do? Rob banks?
I suggest you cultivate friends who reside in or near current F1 venues thus saving on taxi fares and Hotel costs ? After all that’s how you started your career? Lol.
I know it’s not the correct blog to comment but your reports are in a class of one and Mr Gly should take his sanctimonious self and pretentious comments elsewhere.
F1 is about so much more than just raceday and you open doors and show the world so many fascinating facets. Not sure how you get it all done but I really look forward to reading you and I have been around an awful long time and in the industry for nearly as long.
Little aside, I also had a relation on the last boat out of Singapore with her new born son whilst her husband managed to march his platoon all the way to India.
So you watched the Horizon program about solar storms too!
Nope
Might as well watch the documentary Our Brand is Crisis which followed the real people around in real time. I’m sure the dramatized version has better looking people though…
It was not of offer