A busy day

It has been a busy day here in Abu Dhabi, with the Pirelli press conference revealing the Italian company’s F1 plans for the coming season, followed by the opportunity to mess about in cars of various sorts, driving (badly in my case) and being driven around by people who know what they are doing. Pirelli got their point across and the fun (which continues for some tomorrow) is reward for those who made the trip.

Being a tyre company in Formula 1 is not easy because it is really hard to convince newsmen that tyres of any kind are sexy. Still, this has been a very good effort.

Elsewhere in the world there has been much excitement about a virtual image of the new Caterham F1 car, which will be officially launched in February. The problem with virtual images is that they pop up when you least expect them, so it all happened a day too early. The car is not very pretty, but I have a nasty suspicion that there are going to a lot of pretty ugly cars in F1 this year, because of the new rules about the noses having to be lower. If one team has come up with this solution in the wind tunnel, you can bet that others will have done the same.

But what is the perfect F1 launch?

I do remember many years back now, Sauber decided to push back the new frontiers and announced the first virtual F1 launch, which meant that there was no need to find an expensive venue, no need for the media to travel because it was all done online (although I am pretty sure the system overloaded dramatically).

However, it was not without humour. Shortly before the big event a wooden box was delivered to the home of each member of the F1 media, inside which was a suitable lunch… complete with wine, Sauber table napkins and so on.

Over the years I have seen many a weird and wonderful attempt to grab attention. I have seen cars unveiled on barges in the middle of rivers; in museums, amid countless laser and dry ice shows and I was long ago unimpressed by with cars driving unexpectedly through paper walls. I have seen a car helicoptered into place, and even a bunch of out-of-work actors rushing about throwing paint-filled eggs at a white wall. There was the odd McLaren launch in Berlin where members of the public brought bits of car and it was built up before the eyes of the media. My favourite launch I think was Jordan’s spectacular Cirque de Soleil performance at the Royal Albert Hall in London (I cannot remember the year), although in 1996 Sauber (again) had a wild launch at an experimental theatre near Zurich. It is hard to explain what happened, but it was a musical, which was like Rocky Horror Show meets Star Trek (in German).

These days, without time to play with, the F1 teams have rollouts more than launches… but who knows, with a virtual world out there, there are no limits to what can be done. What next? A virtual Transformer launch, in which a hot air balloon transforms himself into the new HRT; or a virtual Red Bull tin that suddenly sprouts wings and wheels and becomes an F1 car; or perhaps a team owner sitting rubbing an old lamp in order to make an Formula 1 car magically appear.

Perhaps the best idea, with the movie The Artist making such an impact in Hollywood, would be to have the sport’s first silent F1 launch: No wild expectations; no fluffy talk; no bull. Not even a performing dog (except, perhaps, if the car is no good).

41 thoughts on “A busy day

  1. Great read!Would like to know more in details about the funny bits of car launch.May be some other time,in an article entirely dedicated to the subject!

  2. My favourite car launch was the ’96 (I think) Benetton launch, with Alesi and Berger driving the new car through Taormina to the amphitheatre. If I recall correctly in ’97 they launched it floating on a canal in Venice.

  3. Transformers….

    No a bad suggestion Joe

    An F430 transforms to become next years F1 challenger.
    A Mercedes ML350 transforms into a F1 challenger
    A giant mobile phone transforms into the next MPxx
    A Caterham Seven transforms into next years F1 car….

  4. Formula One car launches are just hype, super hype and hyper hype!

    The money spent on these events is better invested in research and development and making the car go faster, or paying top journalists expenses to travel to the races…

    1. I would be in favor of spending that money on teaching some engineering to the journalists. That way the better, even with inevitable errors in translation, to broaden the audience for what makes F1 go. I always grit my teeth when technology is hidden behind, erm, smoke and mirrors. Get engineers from other fields to explain. That worked really well at my school, where you’d find who wrote a A-level curriculum teaching another subject for a year, quite often. Biology from a Classics doctor, my physics master wrote the biology textbooks, and so on. There was always something to add as personal perspective which would make you sit up. (and you would not have one teacher per subject for many courses, so someone was doing the hard core bits)

      1. As Barnes -Wallis said

        ‘……..I know I said that we didn’t have enough engineers but that didn’t mean I wanted more. Send me someone who knows nothing about engineering, at least that way we’ll get some original new ideas’.

  5. which was like Rocky Horror Show meets Star Trek (in German)

    So, William Shatner dressed as a transvestite alien threw toast at the car?

  6. Dear Joe,

    You keep calling things ‘virtual’…virtual picture, virtual launch…

    But the picture isn’t virtual, it’s digital…the launch wasn’t virtual that was an online launch…

    Virtual, especially in computer terms, means not real but simulated…like a 3d game.

    I am not one to correct spelling and stuff…but this really needed correction! 😉 Have fun in the sun over there and a good flight back!

    1. Except that the launch is simulated, which would make it virtual (in a digital world). And considering for many teams it’s not the real car or it’s last year’s car, that would also make it virtual.

      1. By reducing the variances between the compounds (e.g. as reported the 2012 Hard compound resembles the 2011 Medium compound) we can only hope teams at least give it a go. Wishful thinking much?

    1. This really only ever affected one or two cars and the focus of the majority of the audience in Q3 is very much on the Top 5. I never quite understood why Brundle felt the need to continually verbalise what is a relatively minor issue.

      1. And if you ban the practice, then you almost make it more desirable to qualify 11th than 10th, something which simply shouldn’t be happening.

  7. I can’t really get excited about many of these car launches. The “SHOWTIME!” kind of presentations, I personally find unnerving and distracting — and there’s also few things I consider significantly more boring than the “dry cookies” kind of launches where five people have to get up on stage and ramble on about how they are actually, guess what, excited and confident about the work they’ve been doing so far and looking forward to to some more of it soon.

    Both of which happens to be why I’m perfectly fine with a team releasing photos on-line, together with a press release you don’t necessarily have to read anymore. The excitement, for me, is looking at the new cars, try to pick up on or analyse a few details. Then wait for the sound of these machines retaking their natural territory on paved roads.

  8. I’m thinking balloons lifting a grumpy wizened Colin Kolles UP into the air, complete with garage. But who will be the little boy?

    What’s going on? I’ve gone from going “urrrrgh” to going “awwww” when I think of them now!

  9. I really don’t know why they bother other than if they are bored and want to piss around a bit. It’s 100% irrelevant and meaningless… no one’s going to buy it. It’s either fast or isn’t. Bah.

  10. The ostentatiousness of launches is sort of inversely proportional to the technological development of the sport: Sauber’s experimental theatre didn’t deliver them any wins, did it? Whereas Red Bull’s ‘push the car out of the garage and sit the drivers on the wheels’ approach didn’t do them any harm last year.

    This is one way in which F1 seems to be mirroring the old days – I believe McLaren actually launched their 1989 MP4/5 at the first race in Jacarepagua, with Senna and Prost standing beside it.

    Less is more! Ken Tyrrell would be proud.

    1. I’d correct that to “the ostentatiousness of launches is inversely proportional to the current success of the team”.

      At the moment, Red Bull really don’t need to persuade their sponsors of anything, they don’t need to “seduce” them into parting with their cash. Sod sitting drivers on the wheels, they could just stand the Constructor’s Championship trophy on the nose, borrow Seb’s Driver’s Championship Trophy to sit alongside it and cover the sidepods and rear wing with race-win trophies.

      Once your car is winning, the marketing work pretty much does itself. There’s a post-qualifying and then a post-race press conference for the top 3. Red Bull sent at least one driver to all but 1 of these in the entire season. Which means on 37 occasions in the year, GEOX, Rauch, Total, Pepe Jeans and Infiniti logos were sat in front of journalists and cameramen from every corner of the globe.

      Further down the grid, where TV time is limited and podiums are rare (especially as F1 cars have become more reliable) partners need more convincing to open their chequebooks, they need to be impressed by something and it won’t be the races.

  11. I remember seeing those Benetton launches of the late 1990’s, the Ferrari ones and the Jordan ones. Even McLaren found the time to be a little showy – remember the 1997 launch when they unveiled the first non-white-and-red McLaren for soemthing like 25 years?

    Then Williams rolled out their challenger in their usual party-pooper, corner of the factory “well here it is, looks kinds like last year’s” job. You could practically hear Frank Williams ushering out the media whilst the launch was still going on – they clearly just hated the whole fiasco.

    Now they’re all like that. Except they don’t even bother doing that, they either throw around some jpeg renders or just wheel it out on the track and pose for photos.

    Long live the lasers!

  12. anyone still remember when naked women used to be the staple diet of all media events to do with cars, sport or otherwise? wonder what year they became obsolete?

    1. Oh, Lord, I wish I hadn’t just looked. Ruder words came to mind, but the moody poorly lit nondescript amateur photography stunned me into a rare moment of silence. I can’t even find a full length photo. Keep that poor forsaken babe under swaddling . . . This, on a expensive calibrated big screen I just agonized over for weeks since I’m not happy having unwanted 3D gizmos shoved down my throat . . . wow, I mean I feel worse about looking at that than paying Murdoch for the view. A disabled duckbill platypus race is going to be really attractive to my nearly, almost finally arm twisted and bribed near convert buddy. I can hear his reflex “you silly silly Europeans” rant warming up already 😉

  13. I think the Jordan launch you’re refering to was 1998 with Damon and Ralf.

    But back to the question of ugly cars….that Caterham does indeed look hideous at the front. I reminds me of the time I first saw the 1995 Benetton Renault…..

  14. On the McLaren Berlin launch, I wouldn’t rule out HRT using the same technique except instead of the public bringing the components it will be their technical partners, to deliver and install from a delayed final production.

  15. “What next? A virtual Transformer launch, in which a hot air balloon transforms himself into the new HRT;”

    What are you suggesting Joe? That the cars design has come from their heads…? If so I applaud you.

  16. In 1989 I was working for the old Tyrrell team. I have fond memories of the 019 launch which took place in an Italian restaurant in Horsley, just up the road from the team HQ in Ockham. Nothing special, just pizzas, wine and beer. A certain Mr Nigel Roebuck from Autosport was in attendance too.

    Ahhh the good old days.

  17. Well I have to say the Caterham launch has become a bit of a bore, a few poor photo’s and some obscure shot of unidentified body parts is hardly a launch, more a game of hide and seek.

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